coz of some reason.. i flipped through the family's photo album ... I am feeling sad .. so when i saw the smile and laughter in the photo.. especially myself... i start to wonder.. When did that smile gone from me??? In those photo, the smile show no worry.. only fun and laughter..... with my sis and cousin.. Those smile is sooooooo nice.... But i can't have the smile d...
Now.. i always full with worry and more i expose to the world.. every breath of air i breath in made me more sad.. I am show with the cruelty of the world..
the cruelty and disspointment i discover.. made my innocent smile fade away.. wat take over, is a cool face with no espression which wearing a mask.. don't want who to discover the feeling under it....
Tons of unfinish homework.. tons of unfinish revise books... tons of assignment.. tons of worry and tons of hope on myself....
Is giving pressure dat i feel i can't take it anymore.. tears start to take over me sometimes.... sometimes tears is force not to drop by my heart... i must b tough....
Give up???? thought of it b4...even thought of give up my life... but when i think further ... i start to blink.. it can't solve the problem....and i still have lotz of things i want to archive.. my wish, my dreams..
I hope i can smile like when i was a kid.. no worry ... no need to be so rasional.. no need to always think for others.. no need to care about pp's hope on u..
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Don't make me dissapointed on u..
Duno y this few days i always get angry... at last i come up with a conclusion.. y people always made me feel mad.. coz i put too high expectation on others people...
when i put high expectation others people... but people fail to do it.. i felt dissapointed and it make me start not to trust people.. when i wan to do a work or anything.. i don't want others to do or hope on others d.. i want to on my own d.. coz i scare they fail to do it on the dateline... the effect is i will get it coz i fail to finish my job on time.. so sometimes i don't like to work with others... but it depends on who is dat person..and what work is dat.. But now adays i don't really depends on people d.. If i really work with others.. but i will have a backup or a standby work do by me.. coz i really scare that person can't do it... that is really scary when u find out ur team mate can't finish his or her job n the next day is the date line... i tried it b4.. n the dateline is not tmr but on that day!!!
When i know that my team mate didn't finish the only 2% of the whole project i gave her.. and we need to pass up on that day.. U know how angry .. how dissapointed and worry i am?? And yes the 1st time i dropped my tears in class... Lucky only few of my frens saw and realise what really happen on me... is so shame i cry bcoz of the project... but i really very dissapointed that time.. i am so sad and think how could they did that to me...
So from that day onward , i judge my team mate and choose it carefully .. but now is not a matter for me ... coz i noe i can finish all the work by myself.. I m so glad i m Aquarius.. coz Aquarius will forget something after she think propely and get the answer she want. Aquarius always believe that they can n they are rasional...and i noe i can do it .. N i will keep telling my self .. people can dissapoint you.. but u can't dissapoint ur self. coz when u oso can't complete the job u give to urself and trust ur self .. who u expected to trust on??? or u wan to get another disspointed on trusting others???
No way.. i don't wan to take such rick anymore.. mayb pp might say i m so sombong and over confident.. but u noe wat?? i don't really mind wat pp say.. n i noe i m not those pp.. coz sometimes u really need to trust ur self 100% and give ur self 100% of confident.. coz when u don't even support urself who will support u??plus i need team mate oso lar.. just i will still do the standby work....
and there is some sign of my angry mood.. so just leave me alone when i m not in a good mood..
i will b full of torn on that moment.. i just don't wan anyone to get hurt when i m in a bad mood..
I will be very quiet and show no interstet on anything .. sometime i might make myself bz doing work ..or sometimes i just sit day keep thinking something.....
When i feel a bit better i will tell my problem to my trusted frens.....coz i want to c the situation from diff angle and think from diff way...
But something weird is .. when i am angry .. i will like to look for a ice coffee or a piece of chocolate.. coz duno y.. it just make me feel better.. haha... weird hor????
and yup.. don't make me dissapointed on u .. coz when there is once.. i won't let u have the 2nd chances.. coz once is enough to hurt me..
when i put high expectation others people... but people fail to do it.. i felt dissapointed and it make me start not to trust people.. when i wan to do a work or anything.. i don't want others to do or hope on others d.. i want to on my own d.. coz i scare they fail to do it on the dateline... the effect is i will get it coz i fail to finish my job on time.. so sometimes i don't like to work with others... but it depends on who is dat person..and what work is dat.. But now adays i don't really depends on people d.. If i really work with others.. but i will have a backup or a standby work do by me.. coz i really scare that person can't do it... that is really scary when u find out ur team mate can't finish his or her job n the next day is the date line... i tried it b4.. n the dateline is not tmr but on that day!!!
When i know that my team mate didn't finish the only 2% of the whole project i gave her.. and we need to pass up on that day.. U know how angry .. how dissapointed and worry i am?? And yes the 1st time i dropped my tears in class... Lucky only few of my frens saw and realise what really happen on me... is so shame i cry bcoz of the project... but i really very dissapointed that time.. i am so sad and think how could they did that to me...
So from that day onward , i judge my team mate and choose it carefully .. but now is not a matter for me ... coz i noe i can finish all the work by myself.. I m so glad i m Aquarius.. coz Aquarius will forget something after she think propely and get the answer she want. Aquarius always believe that they can n they are rasional...and i noe i can do it .. N i will keep telling my self .. people can dissapoint you.. but u can't dissapoint ur self. coz when u oso can't complete the job u give to urself and trust ur self .. who u expected to trust on??? or u wan to get another disspointed on trusting others???
No way.. i don't wan to take such rick anymore.. mayb pp might say i m so sombong and over confident.. but u noe wat?? i don't really mind wat pp say.. n i noe i m not those pp.. coz sometimes u really need to trust ur self 100% and give ur self 100% of confident.. coz when u don't even support urself who will support u??plus i need team mate oso lar.. just i will still do the standby work....
and there is some sign of my angry mood.. so just leave me alone when i m not in a good mood..
i will b full of torn on that moment.. i just don't wan anyone to get hurt when i m in a bad mood..
I will be very quiet and show no interstet on anything .. sometime i might make myself bz doing work ..or sometimes i just sit day keep thinking something.....
When i feel a bit better i will tell my problem to my trusted frens.....coz i want to c the situation from diff angle and think from diff way...
But something weird is .. when i am angry .. i will like to look for a ice coffee or a piece of chocolate.. coz duno y.. it just make me feel better.. haha... weird hor????
and yup.. don't make me dissapointed on u .. coz when there is once.. i won't let u have the 2nd chances.. coz once is enough to hurt me..
Monday, June 20, 2005
Study so hard ... just to get a Cert???
My aunt.. which is now i think redi 50 years old kua... something around this age lar... She has a debate...which is coming soon.. as her niece... we need to help her to think point for this topic.. the topic is quite intersting.. atleast is related to us.. so i think is time for us to think deeply...
Start from kindergarden.. we as a student , always be advise to study hard...but how many of us really think of why?? izit just to get the reward from ur papa n mama or get praise by teacher n adults???
I think i am a weird child maybe.. when i was young , i didn't been force to study but i love to study.. Story book is the best.. but when i was 5 years, i started to intersted of my elder sister standard one teks book.. i really wierd lar..i oso duno y?? just very excited to noe more words...
Other then that, i like to think.. don't c me just staring at something.. like i m day dreaming.. actually my brain is running... (but sometimes really day dreaming lar:p) I started to think for my future since i was young... i noe there got something call government exam ..which is very important for my future.. and i tell my self if i can't do well in this exam .. my future is gone.. the whole world going to be dark n evil.. So i push my self very hard .. just to get my cert pass with flying colors...
Actually how important is all this cert??? Study so much and so hard... give up my favourite tv show n computer games and all the fun....izit worth??? only a cert.....which determin my future..
some might say it is only a cert.. don't have a cert with good result doesn't means u r a failure in the future... however... with this cert.. atleast ..i will have more opportunity to get a better job in the future... For example, if i didn't get good result for PMR.. i can't go to the science class... N the skop of my future course i can take will reduce.... all those science subject will be out ....
if my SPM, i can't get atleast 5 credits.. i can't even go to a college..... Or if i can get atleast 5 credits but the result is not good...The confident on my self oso will bcome low.. and the spirit to fight and battle will be low too... plus ..if my result not good it oso means i didn't master the knowledge i study in secondary school.. So if i go to the coll, i will face the diff in study....
After we study and pass our exam ..only we can graduate from Uni....and get the Cert which is only a paper...
So izit all is study about??? Just to get a cert????Tell me everything on ur mind...
yup... for my aunt rite... she is the opponent...the topic is 'Study just for a cert?'
Study...izit just to get a cert???
Start from kindergarden.. we as a student , always be advise to study hard...but how many of us really think of why?? izit just to get the reward from ur papa n mama or get praise by teacher n adults???
I think i am a weird child maybe.. when i was young , i didn't been force to study but i love to study.. Story book is the best.. but when i was 5 years, i started to intersted of my elder sister standard one teks book.. i really wierd lar..i oso duno y?? just very excited to noe more words...
Other then that, i like to think.. don't c me just staring at something.. like i m day dreaming.. actually my brain is running... (but sometimes really day dreaming lar:p) I started to think for my future since i was young... i noe there got something call government exam ..which is very important for my future.. and i tell my self if i can't do well in this exam .. my future is gone.. the whole world going to be dark n evil.. So i push my self very hard .. just to get my cert pass with flying colors...
Actually how important is all this cert??? Study so much and so hard... give up my favourite tv show n computer games and all the fun....izit worth??? only a cert.....which determin my future..
some might say it is only a cert.. don't have a cert with good result doesn't means u r a failure in the future... however... with this cert.. atleast ..i will have more opportunity to get a better job in the future... For example, if i didn't get good result for PMR.. i can't go to the science class... N the skop of my future course i can take will reduce.... all those science subject will be out ....
if my SPM, i can't get atleast 5 credits.. i can't even go to a college..... Or if i can get atleast 5 credits but the result is not good...The confident on my self oso will bcome low.. and the spirit to fight and battle will be low too... plus ..if my result not good it oso means i didn't master the knowledge i study in secondary school.. So if i go to the coll, i will face the diff in study....
After we study and pass our exam ..only we can graduate from Uni....and get the Cert which is only a paper...
So izit all is study about??? Just to get a cert????Tell me everything on ur mind...
yup... for my aunt rite... she is the opponent...the topic is 'Study just for a cert?'
Study...izit just to get a cert???
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Girls, do you mind your boyfriend to be shorter then you???
Recently i watched a tv show 'All about Eve'Hahaha.. don't misunderstood. is not the Korean tv show...is the 8tv ... I seldom watch tv now a days except those drama lor... girl mar...
That day i just tooo bored ( holiday lor) n sat infront the tv...That the topic they discuss about..
"Do short guys don't look cool or man?" When the audience called in the studio, the host asked the same question..."Do you mind if your boyfriend shorter then you?"
I not sure is't bcoz is show on the tv or what... 99% of the girls said they don't mind.. only one girl, very honestly... she said she mind the height of her boyfriend...Actually i think most of the girls mind isn't it??? I mean for the first impression, sure the taller guys will get the attention...However when time pass, the character of the man will become the attention of the girls...Such as, this guy is short but he is talented... and that guy is tall but he is a very bad temperate person... think when come to this the girl will choose the shorty rite?? But inside the girls heart i think they still mind... atleast for me ..honestly speaking... i think i will mind if my boyfriend is shorter then me...haha.. but not yet in love with someone shorter then me yet, so the real answer is .. duno...
When come to reality , is still a unknown fact... coz as those girls said, if he is a shorty and i love him.. everything physically is doesn't matter anymore... hmmmm.. actuallly it sound like if my boyfriend is as old as my grandpa but i love him.. i will still be with him... hahaha....So mayb a shorty as boyfriend is nothing so bad also rite??? I think not as bad as my boyfriend age is as old as my grandpa...come till the end i think i have put my self on the middle stand.. coz i think is depends on individual opinion for this type of question...Tell me what you think ,k??
Girls, do you mind your boyfriend shorter then you???
Boys, do you mind your girlfriend taller then you???
*NO offense to anyone
That day i just tooo bored ( holiday lor) n sat infront the tv...That the topic they discuss about..
"Do short guys don't look cool or man?" When the audience called in the studio, the host asked the same question..."Do you mind if your boyfriend shorter then you?"
I not sure is't bcoz is show on the tv or what... 99% of the girls said they don't mind.. only one girl, very honestly... she said she mind the height of her boyfriend...Actually i think most of the girls mind isn't it??? I mean for the first impression, sure the taller guys will get the attention...However when time pass, the character of the man will become the attention of the girls...Such as, this guy is short but he is talented... and that guy is tall but he is a very bad temperate person... think when come to this the girl will choose the shorty rite?? But inside the girls heart i think they still mind... atleast for me ..honestly speaking... i think i will mind if my boyfriend is shorter then me...haha.. but not yet in love with someone shorter then me yet, so the real answer is .. duno...
When come to reality , is still a unknown fact... coz as those girls said, if he is a shorty and i love him.. everything physically is doesn't matter anymore... hmmmm.. actuallly it sound like if my boyfriend is as old as my grandpa but i love him.. i will still be with him... hahaha....So mayb a shorty as boyfriend is nothing so bad also rite??? I think not as bad as my boyfriend age is as old as my grandpa...come till the end i think i have put my self on the middle stand.. coz i think is depends on individual opinion for this type of question...Tell me what you think ,k??
Girls, do you mind your boyfriend shorter then you???
Boys, do you mind your girlfriend taller then you???
*NO offense to anyone
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Tire but FUN!!!!
Yesterday nite... i didn't sleep the whole night.. What i did?? checking what is the time every hours past... When time pass every hours, i get more nervous.. coz i can't fall asleep!!!! My stomach lor.. something wrong.... what's wrong?? i also duno.... The only thing i know ... i can't sleep the whole night.. Finally i fall asleep, but you noe wat time is that??? is 6 am in the morning... 7.30 am i was waken up by my sister stupid alarm clock.. Dunno what she want to do so early in the morning.. but she didn't wake up at last...coz i shut the alarm clock..^.^ haha.. so bad of me... Once i wake up, i can't continue sleep... haihz.. never mind lar... today going Sunway Lagoon with my friends.. to celebrate yo-yo birthday lor....
Most of us went for both park...is Fun.. We get wet before we went to the wet park...Aikz... our skirt all wet!!! And we didn't bring extra skirt or pants... Dat's is terrible!!! But we didn't think much that time... just a bit worry...We played alotz of games.. but when reach the Tomahawk, i don't dare to play.. coz i scare i will vomite.. I feel sick the whole day.. not enough sleep kot...
After they played few times of the Tomahawk, some started to vomite.. and they feeling sick d.. so we went to the wet park...
That time is around 12pm.. afternoon... so hot!!! Some of them was already there the wh0le morning coz they didn't go for the dry park... It is fun.. i totally forget all the homework i not yet done.. and my moral project.. haihz.. Lotz of them get sunburn coz din put sunblock.. I very stupid .. i forget to put sunblock on my shoulder.. so is damn red now... but lucky not really pain.
Get darker.. i think everyone also get darker lor... We played till dont want to go back ..haha.. but i think most of them the stomach protest d... so must go have lunch... My leg is soooo tire.. to me.. the way from lagoon to sunway pyramid is damnnn long... and hot...
I didn't eat much for my lunch.. no appetite to eat... gastric lor... i think my stomach out of function.. i didn't feel hungry also... but gastric pula.. sigh...and my legs also.. is killing me...
The movie we watch was very funny... haha... but a bit like the 'square pegs' coz of the actor kua.....After the movie, we go lepak for a while.. wait for my parents to come n fetch us to dinner..
Today is sooooooo tire... but so much of fun!!!
Most of us went for both park...is Fun.. We get wet before we went to the wet park...Aikz... our skirt all wet!!! And we didn't bring extra skirt or pants... Dat's is terrible!!! But we didn't think much that time... just a bit worry...We played alotz of games.. but when reach the Tomahawk, i don't dare to play.. coz i scare i will vomite.. I feel sick the whole day.. not enough sleep kot...
After they played few times of the Tomahawk, some started to vomite.. and they feeling sick d.. so we went to the wet park...
That time is around 12pm.. afternoon... so hot!!! Some of them was already there the wh0le morning coz they didn't go for the dry park... It is fun.. i totally forget all the homework i not yet done.. and my moral project.. haihz.. Lotz of them get sunburn coz din put sunblock.. I very stupid .. i forget to put sunblock on my shoulder.. so is damn red now... but lucky not really pain.
Get darker.. i think everyone also get darker lor... We played till dont want to go back ..haha.. but i think most of them the stomach protest d... so must go have lunch... My leg is soooo tire.. to me.. the way from lagoon to sunway pyramid is damnnn long... and hot...
I didn't eat much for my lunch.. no appetite to eat... gastric lor... i think my stomach out of function.. i didn't feel hungry also... but gastric pula.. sigh...and my legs also.. is killing me...
The movie we watch was very funny... haha... but a bit like the 'square pegs' coz of the actor kua.....After the movie, we go lepak for a while.. wait for my parents to come n fetch us to dinner..
Today is sooooooo tire... but so much of fun!!!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Apology to my sis...
This post is to say sorry to my sis n my mom... coz the previous post .. i was too angry.. and said something stupid.. sorry.. thx for the care of my friends.. is nothing serius.. but thx coz u care bout me...
Bored... HOliday!!!!
holiday... everyday almost do the same things...
online... chat .... eat.... sleep.... read novel.... play games....watch tv....tuition
sound so bored right??? imagine i do all this activity everyday... so bored...
And it sound like a pig life style..... Didn't go to school.. but the body is even more easy tire.. i can just sit on my study chair for 10 minit... then i start to feel tire.. and the nex thing i do is....... go lay on my bed... and read novel... or sometime just roll here and there.. doing nothing...
Something so bored... why would i like to write it on my blog????
But i get complaint d lar... someone started to ngam ngam cham cham( like my mom) said i didn't update my blog... Eiiii.. I just remember .. you didn't update ur blog also wet... how could u say me?
The only thing sound fun in this holiday is i can go play with my friends tomorow!!!!
Long time didn't go out with 3cinr3b..... too bad.. ping don't want to join us....
Yeah!!! Finally can go play water... i long time didn't go play water d lar.. not even go swimming.. bz lor... Some boys wonder we gals will wear bikini or not??? hahaha... too bad.. we don't have this thought in our mind.. so sorry guys.... We gals going to wear swimming suit.. plus we going to wear a T-shirt also.. hahaha... too bad boys... We not really sooo close to u guys.... sooo....
don't put too much of hope to c v gals wear bikini....We won't as long as you boys there...
The game i always play in this such boring holiday is Hexic... coz can play with friends mar...
And i found out in our geng.. someone very good in playing games.. when i check the buddy score , he always the top... and he already play lotz of times... Sigh... izit he play the games 24 hours??? For the highest score in Hexic he get 350000++ !!!! It is so far from my highest score.. mine only90000++ and in our buddy score i am the 2nd place.. the distance is sooooo far...
Sigh... but he said he saw one guy get 600000++ score!!! Omg... how that guy did it??? did he really sit infront of his com for 24 hours???
online... chat .... eat.... sleep.... read novel.... play games....watch tv....tuition
sound so bored right??? imagine i do all this activity everyday... so bored...
And it sound like a pig life style..... Didn't go to school.. but the body is even more easy tire.. i can just sit on my study chair for 10 minit... then i start to feel tire.. and the nex thing i do is....... go lay on my bed... and read novel... or sometime just roll here and there.. doing nothing...
Something so bored... why would i like to write it on my blog????
But i get complaint d lar... someone started to ngam ngam cham cham( like my mom) said i didn't update my blog... Eiiii.. I just remember .. you didn't update ur blog also wet... how could u say me?
The only thing sound fun in this holiday is i can go play with my friends tomorow!!!!
Long time didn't go out with 3cinr3b..... too bad.. ping don't want to join us....
Yeah!!! Finally can go play water... i long time didn't go play water d lar.. not even go swimming.. bz lor... Some boys wonder we gals will wear bikini or not??? hahaha... too bad.. we don't have this thought in our mind.. so sorry guys.... We gals going to wear swimming suit.. plus we going to wear a T-shirt also.. hahaha... too bad boys... We not really sooo close to u guys.... sooo....
don't put too much of hope to c v gals wear bikini....We won't as long as you boys there...
The game i always play in this such boring holiday is Hexic... coz can play with friends mar...
And i found out in our geng.. someone very good in playing games.. when i check the buddy score , he always the top... and he already play lotz of times... Sigh... izit he play the games 24 hours??? For the highest score in Hexic he get 350000++ !!!! It is so far from my highest score.. mine only90000++ and in our buddy score i am the 2nd place.. the distance is sooooo far...
Sigh... but he said he saw one guy get 600000++ score!!! Omg... how that guy did it??? did he really sit infront of his com for 24 hours???
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Don't want to b at home!!! Hate home!!!
I hate my elder sister .. she is sux... i hate to say pp like dat.. but she really sux.
I hate her.. she always bully me.. she duno wat going on and she just scold me .. n the fact is .. she is wrong.. I hate her!!! i hate her!!! i hate her at home... why don't she just stay for the national service for longer or don't come back forever... i don't want to c her face.. don wan to listen to her..
Although she elder than me doesn't mean she noe everything n she must b right..
n my mom too.. i noe she pilih kasih.. i been so quiet .. i always diff opinion wit her .. mayb dat make her feel that i always like to go against her.. n when time pass.. i bcome lazier to explain to her.. the only thing i can say is she don understand me..
N no one do in this house ... no one really noe wat happening to me...
When i cry at nite.. who will bother??? I couple, i break with my boyfriend.. who noe??? NONe of them...........none...i been so sad for so long... n no one seems to care y i feel sad.. NO one...
I just hate to stay at home... i hate to stay at home... i hate them!!!!
I hate her.. she always bully me.. she duno wat going on and she just scold me .. n the fact is .. she is wrong.. I hate her!!! i hate her!!! i hate her at home... why don't she just stay for the national service for longer or don't come back forever... i don't want to c her face.. don wan to listen to her..
Although she elder than me doesn't mean she noe everything n she must b right..
n my mom too.. i noe she pilih kasih.. i been so quiet .. i always diff opinion wit her .. mayb dat make her feel that i always like to go against her.. n when time pass.. i bcome lazier to explain to her.. the only thing i can say is she don understand me..
N no one do in this house ... no one really noe wat happening to me...
When i cry at nite.. who will bother??? I couple, i break with my boyfriend.. who noe??? NONe of them...........none...i been so sad for so long... n no one seems to care y i feel sad.. NO one...
I just hate to stay at home... i hate to stay at home... i hate them!!!!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Holiday!!!
HI!!!!Long time no 'c'....
Holiday lor.. start to become lazy...
actually holiday or not.. it start to become not a matter for me...
still got tuition... still got holiday homework..
It just as same as the normal day...only different is i can on9 till very late n wake up late... haha..
Actually not very late sleep oso.. since my mom will scold me if i sleep late.. Or i wake up late she oso will scold me.. so ...is still the same as normal day...
I found myself change. If is last time , i may be is the one cheering when come to holiday... last year the loonnnggg holiday is the only one i felt sad... coz after that holiday ..i will never ever have chance to have a long holiday as a student..n i cant c all my frens...N now... NO feeling at all.. really 4get about holiday..n don't even countdown for it anymore...
Last time if i lost something or i forget to bring something, i will b very worry .. but now i will just think every things going to be okay atlast .. no need to worry so much.. i felt that my heart start to become calm... Like nothing can really make me angry... nothing can make me feel worry anymore.. but sad... i still will feel it..
Aikz... so bad lar... don wan to feel sad..but sad is the only mood is remain in me now...
SCare....sometimes..mayb got few experience at home alone d... not so scare d..
People problems i start not to care so much( i don't think i care much last time oso ..haha.. if i wrong tell me lar har) N don't wan to give comment so much...
Lucky i still can feel happy n the only moment i feel happy is wit my frens..
HOme i only feel sad... sometime really hate to stay at home..
V need to grow up... n i dunno izit i bcome more mature or wat.. or not y i don wan to care so much d???? Or is my heart frozen...bcome ice d.. dat's y don hav feeling??? Or mayb is bcoz i had go thru the pain?? dat make me grow up a lotz???
(0f course i talking mentally lar.. physical still a shorty)
Holiday lor.. start to become lazy...
actually holiday or not.. it start to become not a matter for me...
still got tuition... still got holiday homework..
It just as same as the normal day...only different is i can on9 till very late n wake up late... haha..
Actually not very late sleep oso.. since my mom will scold me if i sleep late.. Or i wake up late she oso will scold me.. so ...is still the same as normal day...
I found myself change. If is last time , i may be is the one cheering when come to holiday... last year the loonnnggg holiday is the only one i felt sad... coz after that holiday ..i will never ever have chance to have a long holiday as a student..n i cant c all my frens...N now... NO feeling at all.. really 4get about holiday..n don't even countdown for it anymore...
Last time if i lost something or i forget to bring something, i will b very worry .. but now i will just think every things going to be okay atlast .. no need to worry so much.. i felt that my heart start to become calm... Like nothing can really make me angry... nothing can make me feel worry anymore.. but sad... i still will feel it..
Aikz... so bad lar... don wan to feel sad..but sad is the only mood is remain in me now...
SCare....sometimes..mayb got few experience at home alone d... not so scare d..
People problems i start not to care so much( i don't think i care much last time oso ..haha.. if i wrong tell me lar har) N don't wan to give comment so much...
Lucky i still can feel happy n the only moment i feel happy is wit my frens..
HOme i only feel sad... sometime really hate to stay at home..
V need to grow up... n i dunno izit i bcome more mature or wat.. or not y i don wan to care so much d???? Or is my heart frozen...bcome ice d.. dat's y don hav feeling??? Or mayb is bcoz i had go thru the pain?? dat make me grow up a lotz???
(0f course i talking mentally lar.. physical still a shorty)
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