Saturday, May 28, 2005

不想长大

在这寂静的夜晚,心里头涌出了一股无奈...
这人世间, 有多少人真的能做到与世无争...
又有多少人真的能不在乎他人的想法...
又有多少人真的做事周到...
又有多少人背负着多少人的期望...
又有多少人去了解他人的想法...
又有多少人去体谅他们...
又有多少人骄傲自大的认为自己是最好的...
又有多少人为了利益出卖他人...
又有多少人人前人后两个样...
当我逐渐长大...
我看见的是人类的丑恶...
社会的残酷...
在我小小的心里...构成一幅多难看的一幅画...
人类真的是如此的丑恶吗???
我宁愿不要长大...
不想踏入那灰色的社会...
不想我的心灵受到污染...
我不要长大...
长大有太多的忧虑...
我不想长大... 不要长大...

Friday, May 27, 2005

Don't judge a book by it cover

Actually i not angry with anyone anymore... i mean not mad or black listed in my heart.
To get mad or angry with someone ... the feeling is not nice... and i very fast will forget bout it.... N really is forgive n forget...coz when i calm down..i will start to think from other pp view... then i will try to understand their feeling n situation.. slowly i will noe that y they make such choices or do such things... Although sometimes i still feel that the person is wrong .. i will just tell my self not to care so much.. coz i only get angry , worry or judge pp that i noe..
Judging pp that i duno or get noe the real them... is unfair...
Coz i hav no prove... no reason to judge them .. To me .. look is just nothing... so i seldom judge pp look.. What is the most important things is the inside of the person..
His or her attitude and characteristic...
SO never judge a person with his or her look... c their personality.. their behaviour.. their character... that is most important..coz how beautiful it is someone is... ONe day they will old too..But the wisdom and good in the person heart will never change.. it is forever...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)
Big Five Test Results
Extroversion (44%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.
Friendliness (70%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Orderliness (61%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun.
Emotional Stability (32%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Openmindedness (72%) high which suggests you are very intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.
Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

你又是哪一种花??

花有千万多种

有些要成双成对才美

有些要五颜六色才美

有些要多多才美

有些着要有其它花儿的衬托才美

例如玫瑰配上满天星

但有些花儿要独个儿才美

就像玫瑰

当它独个儿的时候

显得非常高贵

虽然孤独

但它不怕

因为孤独也是一种美


Choices

Life is full of choices
You can choose to tell or keep it as a secret
You can choose to love him or hate him
You can choose to be friends or enemy
You can choose to be happy or sad
You can choose to be good or bad
Every decision is on your hands
When the earth will still keep going on
The sun will still rise in the morning
Why should you choose the negative choices?
Why don’t you choose to be positive and happy?
Remember every choice you have,
Every decision you make,
May change the world or the world might be still the same.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Wind and the cloud

Wind..
Where are you ...
Do you know that the cloud is waiting here...

Wind..
Can you hear.....
The cloud is calling for you...

Wind..
Can you see ....
the cloud is always here...

Wind..
Can you feel ...
The cloud is missing you...

Wind..
Do you know...
The cloud always love you..

Wind..
Have you found...your happiness...
Have you found...

Wind..
Do you know..
The cloud hope you will be happy...
Always happy ........





Actually this is the translation for the chinese below.. I didn't purposely go translate it.. coz the stupid yo-yo lar... he cheated me... he called me to translate ...coz he want to know the meaning. after that only i found out.. he put my translation on my comment... Since he did that ... i mar just post it to let u guys see lor....Hahaha.. How's my stupid work??? very sad??? very bad??? meaningless???? Just post a comment and tell me.... thx...

风云????

风儿…
你在那儿…
你知道云儿在等你吗…

风儿…
你听到吗…
云儿在呼喊你…

风儿….
你看到了吗…
云儿一直在这儿…

风儿…
你感受到了吗…
云儿在想你…

风儿….
你知道了吗…
云儿一直爱着你…

风儿…
你找到了吗…
你要的幸福…
你找到了吗…

风儿….
你知道吗…
云儿希望你幸福…
永远幸福…

Sunday, May 22, 2005

我又哭了…

我又哭了…
我曾经以为我是真的好了…不会再想念… 不会再后悔…
但就在夜深人静的时候…
我的眼泪决堤了….
看着别人的故事.. 我的心在痛… 眼泪一直滑落..
曾经我沉浸在恋爱的甜蜜里…
当我的心对于平淡的一切开始厌烦的时候…
我以为我不再爱他了….
我说出了那句话…
伤了他的心… 也在不知不觉中伤了自己
我后悔了… 但已无路可退
我开始寻找疗伤的方法…
当眼泪滑落的时候…
疗伤的方法就被宣告无效…
试了一次又一次…
当我以为我找到了方法的时候…
我又被自己的眼泪给推翻了…
我才发现麻痹药的期限已过…
我又得去感受那令人难受的感觉…
我的心告诉我..
我不是为了那些毫无关系的角色哭泣…
我是在难过…
我的感觉他永远不会明白..更不会了解..
因为他读不懂我的言语…
我很感激我的好友…
VV, 3cinreb, Aby,Stephen,my hengdai, Jacky… n tailo
谢谢你们一直在我身边…
我会好起来的…
我一定会的…
谢谢你们!!!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Why it must be so sad??

Why most of the love story must be so sad???
Izit because when is sad , people will remember it more???
Why girls like to read love story so much???
Izit this world don't have true love , so we need to find in the story??
Why those famous love story always have sad ending???
Izit it will be more touch and feeling with a sad ending???
Why the one we love not the one who love us the most??
Izit the one will be always the diff person???
Why girls will feel sad for the sad love story although the people doesn't related to them???
Izit because they have feel it before and feel the same pain and do the same stupid things before??
Why girls will cry just for a sad love story???
Izit because they can't find their true love too??
Why am i crying when i read those sad story??
Why am i crying on the lonely night???
Why am i crying front the com???
Why am i crying for the character that doesn't really exist??
Why am i crying when i listening to the music???
Why am i still crying now???
Why i feel so sad ???
Why am i so soft??
Why can't i just forget the past??
Why i can't find anyone to support me in this moment??
Why can't i stop crying???
Why i so stupid ??
Can anyone teach me how to forget??
I thought i have forget ... but why am i crying now???
I need a shoulder now..but i can't find any...

Friday, May 20, 2005

I'm so happy!!!

When i know that my 1st paper for chinese i got 90% ... i was really very happy..
Paper one ler... the essay paper... u can imagine .. dat's the most happy time for today... n the essay question is to write about fact.. My tuition teacher warn me before not to write this type of essay coz i suck on it...
This time i just take the risk and do the question about National Service.. think coz my sis ..hahaha.. jk lar...
Out of my expectation i get 64 /70 for that essay... i really very happy...
Plus the 2nd paper .. i got 86 for my chinese paper but not yet plus 20% from Mac... If plus that together i will get 87 for my chinese paper.. Although is lower then my Mac marks... it is sure better then mac coz this exam is full paper.. got essay somemore...
Think i m those who can change mood very fast... before teacher came in .. my mood not say become sad lar.. not happy oso .. just cool...feel a bit of depress
Today exam over... add mm 2 quite okay.. but how izit ? need to wait for result.
coz the 1st paper i thought i done quite well, but the result not really good.. teacher said i got lotz of careless mistake... such as???
3 + 3 =? 6 rite? but u noe wat the dummy here put??
I put 9.... wasted one marks...
alotz of careless mistake in this exam .. my kimia paper oso... etana is C2H4 .. i thought is metana... then bio lotz of spelling mistake ... god !!!!
Everyone sure hope to get good gred in this exam... me too.. but in the same time .. i hope i get the lowest marks in my life... coz i hope it will bcome a thight slap on my face .. n make me awake that SPM is not far... and i m not prepare for it yet...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Friday, May 13, 2005

I need a DOC!!!

Dunno why... Lately ...my heart always felt something wrong.... like something missing .... feel like something not done ... but not really also... then the heart felt so empty ... ( not lonely).... Then got few times the heart will pain for few second ...( don't think is heart health problem) coz i got experience once before . it happen when something bad happen or something connected to my six sense.
Most of the time i want to be lonely ...want to stay away from people...lazy to talk ... only want to talk to specific people ...don want to talk to specific people..
is like if u are the one i don want to talk to... i will keep silent whatever u say or u do.... but the specific people that i don like's name list ..now only got one name only...hahaha.. so my frens ...don't so scare ler.... only one.... n who is dat ??? i not going to tell u here ... hurt people lor.... actually nothing oso lar..just i don like that person attitude so ...that person is black listed in my heart.... my heart say wan...so the body must cooperate....don't talk to that person...don't listen to that person..
hahaha...very bad hor.... No lar that person still frens lar...just my heart can't forgive such 2 head snake.... n i dont say or do things that will go against my heart... i don talk to that person because i don't want to go against n tell lie on anyone... So sorry if that person find it out....coz if i really talk to that person i going to hurt that person with my words...
Coz i communicate with people with my heart... my heart hate 'black n dirty' things... so my heart say don't want to follow those bad attitude mar... if i talk to that person ... my heart will feel bad lor... i don want to be bad people ler..
WAit!!! go back to my heart sickness... still can't find out what the reason...
Hmmmm....any doctor to cure this type of unknown heart problem???
If got please inform me before my heart die because of this heart sickness...
DOCTOR.... HElp

Thursday, May 12, 2005

still love her

I just complaint abit bout my sis then everyone like so care bout her ....hmmm
K lar ...that time i just too angry lar...actually nothing ...
I know she scold me coz she care for me mar....
ahhaaha...so sure lar i still love my sister...
COz our thinking very different mar...and she don't really understand me..
some quarrel may happen lor....
Stay cool .... she will always be my lovely sister...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

THX VV..

Hai.... today exam quite relax... no science subject lor...
but tomorow got chemistry paper 3... haih... lucky tonight don't have tuition
But i stomachache after the moral paper....don't know why....
After went to toilet d...is still the same....hmmmmm
Think is gastrick kua.... coz i forget to have my breakfast in the morning...
i remember i drink a cup of milo in the morning.....normally can stand till the lunch times....
haihz....maybe stress or tenxion kua....
it made me can't concentrate on my essay....
so is like bad.... i finished my english paper just on time....
the 2nd essay i just simply write only ... no time to think d
i also duno what i wrote .....hahaha....
hehehe ... vv , i very good girl d... only the 1st 2 day exam i got drink coffee only.
trying to stop depending on it... So...THX for ur caring...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

也许...

别再做梦!!
不可能再回到从前...
要是你现在还在..那该有多好…
在我最需要你的时候....
也许再也见不到你..
也许几十年以后...
也许已经结了婚..也许已经有了孩子...
然后慢慢老去..
那时我还会记得你吗?
也许会忘了吧....
也许会记得....
我希望我会记得....
要不然我会觉得很孤单...

Find a lotz of this things appear in my blog???
Hehehe... actually is my work..... is what i think...and my english quite lousy... so is in chinese lor...my chinese better mar....hehehe
those sentences just fly into my brain....some can remember ..so mar complete it and post it here...some just fly in and i just forget it the next minit...( lost memory)
This work is special a bitz... actually i caught this few words in the "Holland Village" noe the jingjing?? she said something like that lar... to her own.... poor girl...she have to marry a man that she don't like...
When i heard what she said... my tear drop... it is so sad .. to see a girl in her situation ....especially she still pretended to be okay....
But for sure is.... i just take the idea from what she said...so is still my work ..:P

Maybe...

My sis is back.... but i think the feeling of excited had fade away from me...
She is worst than mom... mom called me not to study so hard... and you know what ?? she come back not till 48 hours...she already show unhappy to my study method... I don't know izit bcoz cousin are here ...she want to show her ego or what ...but she just make me feel she is sooooo annoying... After she scolded me, she went in mom's room and watch tv ...chat with cousin...they are soooooooo noisy ...i can't concentrate on my study...it seems like amess for me... that's y i m here now writing this...i really can't stand it on this type of study situation...
I just hate her to be back now... she shouldn't come back so early...if she really come back after 3 months full ... that will be after my mid year exam...how nice it will b.... but she is now back...and my best environment to study had spoilt by her... I just hate her to be home... she really should start her pre-u study earlier.. so she will be busy of her study in college...and i will get back my peacefull life... maybe not fully peace...but atleast give me sometimes to free from her useless guidance that want to show her ego... which is totally making me feeling annoying now...

Monday, May 09, 2005

SLeePlesS NIghT

Oh My GOD!!!! Today history 2nd paper... that is killing me...
I not yet finish my revision for history.....
yesterday evening i had account tuition..NOt bad.. can answer but 4hours sitting there and face all those number is just sooooooooooooo tired....
When i reached home ...my sister is BACK from national service...
Hahaha...her face is soooo red ...sunburn kot....her voice also sound like soar throat... she came back just nice....yesterday is MOTHER DAY!!!
I'm so excited... i kept talking with her...but looked like she like the computer more than me ...sob....
Then i started my history revision...actually is not revision also...i just wrote those note in my examination pad...that's all.... actually can't remember and understand what i wrote also...but if i don't write ...i also don't know what i doing.... Haihz ...look like i not yet find the best study way for my self....
I didn't go out for dinner ....can't finish my revision d lor....
around 10++ pm only i had my dinner....
Aikz.... till 12 am i also not yet finish revise the form 4....Give up!!!
I changed to form 5 ...just read through lor....
1 am .... too sleepy... i went to my bed...
Howver...I can't fall asleep!!!till 2 am i still awake ...OMG!!! how i going to sit my exam in the morning???? Sob....
So i took a cup of coffee in the morning with empty stomach.... coz i think is more effective ... The history exam okay okay lor.....still can answer some.. c the result lar... very sleepy now..need to take nap... NItezzzzzzzzzz

Saturday, May 07, 2005

我爱你

若有一天,我就这样离开了.....
我这一生最后悔的事...
是我忘了告诉你....
.........我爱你...............
但我已经没有这种机会....
更没有这种勇气....
这句话将永远藏在我心里最深处....

Friday, May 06, 2005

MID year Exam!!!

Today is the 1st day of mid term exam...this time we going to sit for full paper...
Haihz...Lotz of stuff to study ....things for 2 years... Lazy bum here get it now...
We should study consistently...but every time after exam ...i still will throw all my books away.... can't change it.... LOok like i have to burn mid night oil for this mid term exam...
Dunno y some people very annoying.... They like to ask others what they did yesterday to check others got study or not... Or not... that person will call u in the evening...Why that people call ??? Know lar... to disturb ur study lor... to check wheter u study or not lor.... So kiasu.... and yet very bad hearted..coz purposely interupt people study...is good also ... atleast i know what kind of person is that person is... can prevent from getting stab by this type of "small person"....
Haiya...need to concentrate on study.... end here...

If

If one day i just leave without saying anything,
i will regret......

regret i didn't tell you that
i really love you...
I LovE You!!!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

NO Electricity!!!!

Mid year exam is just round the corner... I decided to start my history revision today ...or not i think i will pass up a blank paper for my history paper...
I was so hardworking...( even i also shocked by my hardworking) I sat on my study table and did note for history...
However, the god mayb don't like the hardworking me...
My house area had cut down electricity for 2 hours!!!!
Sob.... The God just hate me study izit? okay... the night already reach...it is so dark... What can i do in such situation??? Can't continue my study ..obviously..
Can you imagine in a very peacefull and full with darkness house area... music play by piano is on the air... HAhaha ...not telling ghost story lar... The music played by the piano also wrong here and there ... Coz it is me who was playing the piano...HAahah...coz no light ... so i just tried to play without manuskrip..
Some songs okay ...some break here and there.... Haihz ...Lack of practice and talent ... Playing piano helped me to pass my lonely night... after 2 hours ...the eletricity is back!!!! I rushed to my computer...on the music and sat on my study desk for a while ...then what i do??? hahaha... i wrote this thing lor.... NO mood to study liao lor....

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

"Leng Lui"

I have one friend let us call her (W)....She is those tom boy type...very funny and very easy to get along with....
She always like to disturb those little girls...
Our school rules is very strict... everyday the prefect need to check our nails...
W felt that a junior of prefect is very pretty and she will be one of those who check our nails...HAha...W very bad...she purposely walked to that little girl( only form 1) and called her "leng lui, check my nails please...." I think all the prefect were looking at her that time.....hahha.... that small little girl also smile and just pretend to check her nails....
Not only this, when malay period...W n i went to toilet ... when we walked along the corridor, we saw two gals walking infront us..... Suddenly she put her hand on my shoulder and said," want to zeng gu the 2 gal or not?" Then she shouted on the corridor..." Leng lui" The 2 gals infront one is Indian one is Chinese... we thought the chinese gal will turn back ....If u also think like that... U guess wrong..... The Indian gal turn back... We pretend that we were not calling her.. and faced the block opposite.... Shit.....our discipline teacher was standing on the opposite block!!!! So , we walked back to class lor.... can't play anymore... coz today we suppose to wear tie ..but we hate the tie alotz so after assembly we sure take it out... just scare discipline teacher catch us bcoz of that... Hahaha.. at last sure nothing lar...she so far...
Next time heard people call Leng lui don't simply look back...

Monday, May 02, 2005

LUCKY STAR

Do you know what is a star mean?

A star mean a wish, a hope....
I hope all your wish come true....
And you know who are you....

Birthday Party!!!!!

Guess.... atlast did i go??? Ya .... i did...
Around 6 pm , my cousin fetch me back home.She was going to a dinner ...
I online while waiting my frens mom come n fetch me... then i saw my tailo online...He was already there.... When i saw my ex boyfriend(T)using the webcam.i said shit.Not lar i surprise he was there...but he was wearing the same colour shirt as me...N it is same as last time we both wear the same colour shirt.... I faster changed away the orange colour shirt... Is quite fun there...We played PS 2 ...i always lose lor...coz duno how to play mar...They played mahjong ...i just sat there and watch lor,.....coz i also duno how to play.... after the birthday boy gf n my ex left... i online... then i chat with my ex and the person that same name as my ex (J)bout this person ...all my frens don't really noe who is him... but too me he is a good advisor... I on the webcam... when i smile , J said i look sweet ...hmmmm.1st time i 'heard' people said me look sweet when i smile... then when i laught, T said i looked pretty ( don't remember is pretty or nice) ...HAhaha.... really 1st time in one night got people said i look sweet when i smile n laught... Never ever anyone said that to me in my life( till today lar)... coz i always thaught i very ugly...even smile or laught also look very ugly... Hahaha...anyway..thx to their compliment....